| 4:14 p.m. | Pavlovian Matrix bullshit | 2003-05-22 |
| Reaped | I�m do do do d-do! Like the Jackson 5 baby. Bored out of my mind. Crab�s leaving for his sister�s graduation today. This both elates & disheartens me. We�ve been getting along as only a goat & crab can these days. Did I mention he got a job? This has helped tremendously. So. Let me tell you about the Matrix fiasco. First off, what the hell with the subterranean Burning Man dance sex party? Good cinematics, but holy fucking mother of god. Literally. But anyway, the whole night was interesting unto itself. Musta been something in the, ahem, water, cos we we�re all pretty paranoid & bitchy by the time we went out for pre-movie drinks. The five of us walk into le Bon Temps & try to find a table. There�s an empty on with a half drunk beer on it, & a pack of American spirits. M00n: Let�s sit down. Crab: yeah M0: who�s beer is that? M00n: dunno. Let�s sit M0: who�s cigs are those? Crab: dunno. M00n: Dunno. M0: bu- M00n: What�s your problem? Just sit. M0: but somebody�s cigarettes are there. Crab! Crab (sitting down): what? Gah. Jeez. M00n: really. (rolls eyes) M1ke: hey guys! (grabs cigarettes) Something like that. I�m beginning to suspect M00n thinks me as much a freak of I her. Somehow I doubt that they spend as much time discussing how fucked up mine & crab�s relationship is. Or maybe they do. All�s I know is I buy my own damn clothes & can pay my bills. Yes, this still annoys me. Ya can�t be environmental and liberated & all that shit if yo� man�s still doin� that for ya! But I digress. Let�s get back to the Matrix fiasco. Eventually we made it to the Metry Mall. Metry (or Metairie, sounds the same) is your basic American outgrowth suburb of the early 20th century. So much that some locals brag about being from old Metry. Why, I will never know, as it�s worse than Holiday FL, & if you�ve been there you know what hells I�m alluding to. If not, think cheetos, daisy dukes, white kids in gang colors , dented Camaros with overabundant bass, and way to many old people, and you�ll get my jist. Metry is like that too, except they have real gangs & less old people cos they all die of cancer when they�re 50. So we get in to the movie, and as usual, the only seats are second row. Unfortunately this theater is different from X2, so that being close kinda sucks. Everything is warped, & my head starts to hurt. In the movie they get to Zion & decide to throw a party since they�re all gonna die tomorrow. Meanwhile, Trinity & Neo get nasty in Fred Flintstone�s bedroom. There are a couple kung-fu fights, including the completely pointless, over-the-top ass kicking w/ Mr. I-Can-Clone-Myself. Finally get to the pretentious French guy. An hour into the movie we finally get to meet the Virus twins, those blonde beauties, who naturally are smoking a hookah. Unfortunately, that�s the only clip of them I saw. For right as the twins are about to kick everyone�s ass, the FUCKING FIRE ALARM is pulled. For a moment, I thought it was part of the movie. But then the movie stopped. Lights go up. And on the screen? A HUGE FUCKING POWERADE-MATRIX COMMERCIAL. You now have permission to shit your pants. In conclusion, we sat around a bit to see if the movie would come up, but the collective IQ of the ushers was still a double digit number, so we were herded cattle style into the hall & given free passes instead. I felt vaguely sorry for the theater workers, as I watched a fat guy start to demand not only free passes, but free drinks & gas compensation & all that shit, & probably for some crap film like Bruce Almighty anyway. Grumbles all around as we were leaving. M1ke: Man, we got stuck seeing the CRAPPY part of the movie. I�m so pissed� Matt: Still got that pipe in the car? M1ke: We shoulda just gone to the Prytania. Fuck good sound, we shoulda stayed in Uptown. M0: Suck suck suck. Fucking teenagers think they�re all funny & shit. Hmmm, why does this mall smell like dog poo? I need some weed�. M00n: Crab, can I have some adderal? Crab: (who was literally dragged kicking & screaming to this sequel) I called it, huh? I told you guys. Toild you. I TOLD YOU GUYS THE MATRIX WAS GONNA SUCK, DIDN�T I? DIDN�T I? (laughs quietly to himself) The end? Ha haaa! We�re gonna go try & see it again tonight. I hope this doesn�t turn into some existentialist nightmare where I keep trying & trying to see the movie & all�s I ever get is the crappy half. Like one of pavlov's dogs. I can see it even before I speak it. Goddamn. |
Sown |
| Fresh Cut
New digs - 2004-05-25 Bachelor hell - 2004-05-10 Grumble - 2004-05-07 Coachella pt. 2, or goddamn do my fingers hurt - 2004-05-05 Coachella part one, or, this monkey's gone to indio rawk heaven - 2004-05-05 Random Shearings Rings |
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