Remember how i was waxing paranoic on the possibility of Cap'n Trips t'other day? It seems I no longer need to look that far for clinical infections. Crazy office mate is hacking and coughing all over the place this morning. And being generally bitchy.
This is gross.
And unhealthy.
And she won't cover her mouth. Ew.
What I need is a nice designer surgical mask.
Someone told me a story about the traditional tin of caramel popcorn at the office christmas party a couple years ago. The library got it as a present, and Crazy office mate makes a beeline for it.
"Mmm, POPCORN!" she says, proceeding to chuck her bare, unwashed hands deep into the sugary kernels, stuff her mouth, then much to everyone's horror, dig back in for more.
"That is why we always make sure to put plastic cups in gift food tins," says Circ.Goddess, my friend at work, "To make sure that type of thing doesn't happen again."
Given, I've noticed the anality level at this place of employ slightly higher than other places I've worked, but if you've seen Crazy Office mate's fingernails, you'd probably think it's a good idea too. If the crazy cat lady from the Simpsons had a job, she'd be my office companion.
(Trivia: what is Crazy cat lady from the Simpson's name? I'm asking. I don't know.)
There she goes again...the amazing cough-o-matic!
Cover your mouth woman!
This is not to say I'm unsympathetic to another's discomfort, it's that my empathy correlates with a certain sense receptors, and when I'm hearing the Hack, smelling that nasty sick-breath which now permeates my office,
it creates a distemper within my spleen, to put it archaically.
Though I do feel a smidgen of guilt bitching about this. She sounded pretty miserable, congested & icky when she said sh'e was going on break...
But goddammit woman, keep yo' Typhoid Mary nastiness in yo' house! Isn't that what sick days are for?
Does this look like a fucking infirmary?
Gar.
Reminds me of Tuberculosis Girl. Wonder if she's still haunting the Backwater reference dept., searching for her headshots of Justin Timberlake & Aaron Carter, bitching to the GAs that the color printer ate her money, covering them with infection with her nasty hacks & spandexed thighs...
Actually, I hope she is still there, infecting Marian the Librarian & all the other stupid bitches. Except my backwaterlibrarygrrl, who is of course impervious to her demands.
New digs - 2004-05-25
Bachelor hell - 2004-05-10
Grumble - 2004-05-07
Coachella pt. 2, or goddamn do my fingers hurt - 2004-05-05
Coachella part one, or, this monkey's gone to indio rawk heaven - 2004-05-05
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