2:22 p.m.	So she DOES have her clit pierced.	2003-06-26
Reaped	Anyone else feeling a strange sense of Total Recall? Airport Screeners May Get X-Ray Vision So there�s this machine, right? And it lets everyone see you in all your naked glory at the airport, right? Cause its not enough to have some Fat McNasty stare your tits off at the metal detector, as he breathes on you with his heavy cheeseburger & haliotosis breath. �That belts gonna set it off darlin��heh heh�them shoes to. *grunt* Might as well take off that sweater there too missy. Heh. That�s right, yeah, nice n� slow�� "It does basically make you look fat and naked, but you see all this stuff," [director of the Transportation Security Administration's security laboratory] Susan Hallowell said. This is great! Gone is my paranoia that that greasy airport security guard was surreptitiously feeling me up when checking that my bra wasn�t a bomb. Why would he have to if he can tell from the screen I'm a 34 B? Terrific! Sexual harassment, what sexual harassment? Are you some kinda freak terrorist or something? The Republicans are laughing all the way to election �0whatever. Can�t you see their looks of glee as NOW is placed on the list of domestic terrorists for opposing this new, over-the-top safety measure from our own TSA? And the kicker? Well, they only cost one hundred to two hundred THOUSAND dollars. PER MACHINE. Figure out the number of airports in the country and multiply, I�m too fucking lazy. But remember this question: where do you think that�s coming from? Yep, it�s you. But that�s alright, I�m looking forward to the abject poverty I�ll inevitably face by the time I�m 40. At least by then my naked prune body will bring no pleasure to illiterate security guards. Boiy howdy, talk about protecting the children from bad people. What better job for a underground pederast than airport security! Especially if they get their own private booth! Can you see it? No? Well, let me imagine it for ya. �Well it turned out Mrs. Jones, that little Bobby here wasn�t a coke mule after all. Ain�t dat right, Big B?� says Officer McNasty. Bobby Jones sniffles a bit. �Mommy, my butt hurts.� �Heh heh. Yeah, that happens to the little tykes sometimes. He may walk a little funny for a day or so Miz Jones. Happens after the er, private search. Heh. But you can�t be too careful these days. All in the name of safety, o�course.� I�m really glad they thought this through. Just in case there�s a few, shall we say, nay sayers in this whole thing. You know, the fat ugly people who don�t want Biff & Todd staring at their man titties. They�ve got that covered: �The agency hopes to modify the machines with an electronic fig leaf - programming that fuzzes out sensitive body parts or distorts the body so it does not appear so, well, graphic. � I hope that electronic fig leaf includes the BIG MIDDLE FINGER everyone will be getting from me if this actually happens. But it gets better: �Another option would be to restrict the screener to a booth so no passing peepers can see the image�� Well I�d hope so! At least for the sake of the guards they need to provide lubricant, towels and some disinfectant for when the shift�s over. There�s union rules covering that kind of stuff. And while we�re on the subject, it sure as hell better be sound and bulletproof, the first for when they laugh at the size of my boobs & the second for when I come out blazin� because of it. Except�I guess the whole point would be I couldn�t get away with that now, huh? In the words of Balki Bartokamoos: �What a country!� Thanks! I�m leavin�!	Sown
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