View from a grassy knoll

4:34 p.m. Darn tootin! 2003-06-16

Reaped Ah so. Bosslady caved & gave me the leave. I swore up & down I'd save up forty hours before asking again. Not before I'd shed a few tears in the rare book room, much to my dismay.
*sigh*
The things we do for love.
& now onto the family drama-rama, as told to Mo by Mo's mom.
They've moved my gramma back to her house for her final days, for which the family is very glad. Back in the backwater my mom's side o' the family owns a fairly large tract of land, my uncle on one side, gramma on the other, & lots of acreage behind. G-ma has a big ranch style house, so crazy-hep-c-auntie was there in full force. You may remember her antics from the Special Mother's Day episode of Mo's life.
So my mother wants to go visit g-ma. As most of her family (w/ the exception of g-ma) are raging alcoholics, she decides to go early in the morning to avoid her sister & brother in various states of inebriation. Trust me, auntie gets drunk & she's all in your face. My uncle is basically a functional member of the human race, holds a steady job & has no conviction record, but my mom wanted to see them sober, so to her this was a good idea.
So it's ten AM. Mom goes over to hang out, and whadddya know but auntie is 3 sheets to the wind hammered & uncle's catching up. To hear mom tell it, she just wants to talk to her mother & have some quiet time. It is there she makes the first mistake:
"Crazy Auntie?" she asks, "can I talk to you in the kitchen?"
They go into the kitchen. Shut the door to the rest of the house. Mom, I assume rationally & in the inside voice asks her for some peace & quiet for a bit while she visits with G-ma, whereupon Auntie proceeds to scream "GOD I HATE YOU! YOU BROKE MOMMY'S TOILET WITH THAT FUCKING HANDICAP BULLSHIT! I WISH YOU HAD CANCER INSTEAD! ALWAYS POKING YOUR NOSE IN THIS SHIT! YOU DON'T LOVE HER!" etc. etc. & of course at the top of her lungs with all the poisoned hate she can call up from her blackened soul.
At this point Uncle slams into the kitchen. "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! She can hear everything your saying! SHUT UP!" Meanwhile, he's pushing my mom out the side door, towards his house. "C'mon," he says "We're having this out right now. Let's go to my place & have this out."
Mom can only concede with a 350 lb man on her ass. They go over to uncle's. He makes them go inside, sit on the nice leather couches in the family room to 'have it out' or whatever. The family fight for dominance. The 'who's on first' of terminal illness. Of course it turns into a screaming match. According to mom it was auntie & uncle screaming at her, while she sat there taking it. So they fight & fight & suddenly, Aunties got her fists in my mom's face & starts tearing at her clothes. Meanwhile, uncle rips the phone off the wall, saying to mom, "Well, there was a message from you on that phone, but that's not MY phone anymore."
At this point, mom gets the fuck outta there. Auntie runs off to find more crack or meth or whatever the drug du jour, and uncle turns to my mom and says "I love you."
In conclusion, after the 8a1111e family fist-fight uncle & auntie go over to g-ma's & according to my mom, "fill her head with lies". Mom returns to visit gramma the next day & gets a lecture from her on not being supportive. I get a call later in the week with all of this, along with the caveat, "after she's gone I have no bro & sis." Which right now I can't blame her. They're all stubborn & hot-tempered & really good at being assholes. What sucks is the rest of us have to deal with it.
One warning though, Auntie better watch her back. As I told my sister, Hep C or no, had I been there when she went after my mom, she'd have had more than one member of that family to deal with. I'da kicked her ass so hard it woulda landed in China. Actually, I still wanna. Just give me leave over the 4th auntie, yo' ass is MINE.
So yeah. Viva la white-trash-florida-cracker-jerry-springer-family, for we are they. The end.
Sown

Fresh Cut
New digs - 2004-05-25
Bachelor hell - 2004-05-10
Grumble - 2004-05-07
Coachella pt. 2, or goddamn do my fingers hurt - 2004-05-05
Coachella part one, or, this monkey's gone to indio rawk heaven - 2004-05-05

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4:34 p.m.	Darn tootin!	2003-06-16
Reaped	Ah so. Bosslady caved & gave me the leave. I swore up & down I'd save up forty hours before asking again. Not before I'd shed a few tears in the rare book room, much to my dismay. sigh The things we do for love. & now onto the family drama-rama, as told to Mo by Mo's mom. They've moved my gramma back to her house for her final days, for which the family is very glad. Back in the backwater my mom's side o' the family owns a fairly large tract of land, my uncle on one side, gramma on the other, & lots of acreage behind. G-ma has a big ranch style house, so crazy-hep-c-auntie was there in full force. You may remember her antics from the Special Mother's Day episode of Mo's life. So my mother wants to go visit g-ma. As most of her family (w/ the exception of g-ma) are raging alcoholics, she decides to go early in the morning to avoid her sister & brother in various states of inebriation. Trust me, auntie gets drunk & she's all in your face. My uncle is basically a functional member of the human race, holds a steady job & has no conviction record, but my mom wanted to see them sober, so to her this was a good idea. So it's ten AM. Mom goes over to hang out, and whadddya know but auntie is 3 sheets to the wind hammered & uncle's catching up. To hear mom tell it, she just wants to talk to her mother & have some quiet time. It is there she makes the first mistake: "Crazy Auntie?" she asks, "can I talk to you in the kitchen?" They go into the kitchen. Shut the door to the rest of the house. Mom, I assume rationally & in the inside voice asks her for some peace & quiet for a bit while she visits with G-ma, whereupon Auntie proceeds to scream "GOD I HATE YOU! YOU BROKE MOMMY'S TOILET WITH THAT FUCKING HANDICAP BULLSHIT! I WISH YOU HAD CANCER INSTEAD! ALWAYS POKING YOUR NOSE IN THIS SHIT! YOU DON'T LOVE HER!" etc. etc. & of course at the top of her lungs with all the poisoned hate she can call up from her blackened soul. At this point Uncle slams into the kitchen. "SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! She can hear everything your saying! SHUT UP!" Meanwhile, he's pushing my mom out the side door, towards his house. "C'mon," he says "We're having this out right now. Let's go to my place & have this out." Mom can only concede with a 350 lb man on her ass. They go over to uncle's. He makes them go inside, sit on the nice leather couches in the family room to 'have it out' or whatever. The family fight for dominance. The 'who's on first' of terminal illness. Of course it turns into a screaming match. According to mom it was auntie & uncle screaming at her, while she sat there taking it. So they fight & fight & suddenly, Aunties got her fists in my mom's face & starts tearing at her clothes. Meanwhile, uncle rips the phone off the wall, saying to mom, "Well, there was a message from you on that phone, but that's not MY phone anymore." At this point, mom gets the fuck outta there. Auntie runs off to find more crack or meth or whatever the drug du jour, and uncle turns to my mom and says "I love you." In conclusion, after the 8a1111e family fist-fight uncle & auntie go over to g-ma's & according to my mom, "fill her head with lies". Mom returns to visit gramma the next day & gets a lecture from her on not being supportive. I get a call later in the week with all of this, along with the caveat, "after she's gone I have no bro & sis." Which right now I can't blame her. They're all stubborn & hot-tempered & really good at being assholes. What sucks is the rest of us have to deal with it. One warning though, Auntie better watch her back. As I told my sister, Hep C or no, had I been there when she went after my mom, she'd have had more than one member of that family to deal with. I'da kicked her ass so hard it woulda landed in China. Actually, I still wanna. Just give me leave over the 4th auntie, yo' ass is MINE. So yeah. Viva la white-trash-florida-cracker-jerry-springer-family, for we are they. The end.	Sown
Fresh Cut New digs - 2004-05-25 Bachelor hell - 2004-05-10 Grumble - 2004-05-07 Coachella pt. 2, or goddamn do my fingers hurt - 2004-05-05 Coachella part one, or, this monkey's gone to indio rawk heaven - 2004-05-05 Random Shearings Rings		Profile Guestbook Mail D-land Older Home 26 Links Bandified Geek Philosopher /. Drudge Worst.Site.Ever.
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Bandified Geek Philosopher /. Drudge Worst.Site.Ever.

Bandified
Geek Philosopher
/.
Drudge
Worst.Site.Ever.