| 11:39 a.m. | HM-HMMMMMMM! CHICKEN! | 2003-05-19 |
| Reaped | Messing around with dinner yesterday, I discovered a Chinese-y way to cook chicken, and it is good. MOLITA�S KICK-ASS CHICKEN OR HM-HMMMMMMM! CHICKEN!** 4-5 boneless chicken breasts 1 big ass lime, tossed around, thrown on the floor & sufficiently abused enough to yield the most juice Honey bear OR 3 honey packets ganked from fast food restaurant NOTE: using certain types of honey bears MAY result in chicken tasting like bong water. Use caution. 3 soy sauce packets from Chinee take-out OR about 3 oz tamari �-ish cup water hot sauce salt n� pepa paprika martini shaker, preferably clear plastic w/ oz markings Frying pan (pref. with searing marks so it looks all grilled & shit) Cut lime in half & juice into martini shaker Add 2-3 oz honey. Having a clear martini shaker is handy at this point since generally ounces are marked on them. Add soy sauce & dash of hot sauce to taste. Cap shaker & do your bartender impression, or stir with fork until combined. Theoretically, the acid in the lime cuts the thicker honey & they�ll mix ok. ALSO using a metal shaker may make your marinade taste funny. Just to warn ya. Add a bit of water to de-concentrate marinade. Locate flat, largish container with lid. Dump in breasts. Sprinkle with salt, pepper & paprika. Smack it up, flip it & do the other side. Kinda like a self breast exam, but not. Douse carcasses with marinade. Cover. Shake container to the Thong song, replacing words with �bong�. Place chicken in fridge about an hour or until hungry, the important thing is to flip it halfway to marinate all flesh in the acid bath. Heat olive oil in frying pan over medium high heat. Meanwhile, remove chicken from container, reserving marinade. Add chicken to pan. Using honey bear, drizzle more honey over breasts. Add half the marinade & let cook about 8 minutes. Flip chicken & repeat. Salt & pepa would probably be good somewhere in here. NOTE: Drizzling honey on YOUR breasts will not make chicken tastier unless something is very, very wrong. Depending on whether the meat is cut it into strips or left whole, it should take around 15-20 or so minutes to cook this muthafucka. Chickens are kinda like bitches: they're done when blood no longer oozes out when ya stab 'em. Another way to tell is if the meat is to poke it in the thickest part. If it's firm it's done. If not, fry that sucker some more. The marinade will eventually cook off into a lovely carmel colored glaze that will undecidedly rule your asshole. Serving ideas:
Add to a salad: lettuce, tomatoes, red onion, apples, walnuts & mozzarella with Ranch dressing(�cos were tasteless Americans) makes this mucho tasti-o. **HM-HMMMMMMM! CHICKEN! being an allusion to The Rise of Zit boy |
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New digs - 2004-05-25 Bachelor hell - 2004-05-10 Grumble - 2004-05-07 Coachella pt. 2, or goddamn do my fingers hurt - 2004-05-05 Coachella part one, or, this monkey's gone to indio rawk heaven - 2004-05-05 Random Shearings Rings |
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