| 3:28 p.m. | what was to be an elegy become selfish relfective bullshit, but hey, it's therapy | 2003-11-26 |
| Reaped | And so, one month to the day before her 76 birthday, my grandmother passed from this world to whatever lies next. She leaves behind 3 [ridiculously jealous, bipolar, hot tempered & distrusting of each other] children, 4 [well behaved, slightly-less-crazed but damn driven to drink] grandchildren, and a slew of mourners, friends & relatives. so here i am, a couple days after the funeral, a couple days after a fist fight w/ my mom, a couple days after being the sole relative to read a eulogy at the funeral, sittin here in my dad's house on the other coast of FL. Happy to have internet, happy to have my sanity, happy that all of its over & i can go back to the stinking city in a coupla days, where the bars never close and some of them give me free shots of scotch. man oh man. g-ma was an institution. she raised us & held us together. it's like the goth invasion of rome for the baillie family. fuck. my mom threatened to baker act me & didn't talk to me the whole day of the funeral because i went to the WRONG house (read: uncle's) after the visitation the day before, & left the wake early becuase we came in with our cousins (not the uncle, just his offspring), then made us ransack gramma's house yesterday "because your good for nothing uncle & harpy wife are going to sell it all as soon as they can and screw all of us, so whatever you want you better take now", as she said. Woo. Hoo. Can I just have gramma back for another twenty years? so anway, our sole surviving grandparent rented me and my sister a hotel on the beach for the few days we're here at dad for thanksgiving. please tell me what it means when the raging alcoholic side of the family is more sane than the other? they may be incoherent after 8pm and have a propensity to die of liver failure, but at least you can have a rational conversation with them. i should be driving to the hotel now, but i wanted to give a shout out to cyberspace, letting you know to pour out some virtual quarts for my fallen hombre. i'm ok. i never want to return to that side of the backwater again though. you could write a novel about my mom's fucked up cracker family. In fact, my sister IS. should be ready for publication in 2005. For now, rest assured these things are true: what happened has happened and there's no changing the past, if people don't change then they're comfortable for a reason, there's a reason i live 1200 miles away from this backwater bullshit, loving someone doesn't mean you have to like them, and always respect the ones you have lost. That is all. SHeeeyit. |
Sown |
| Fresh Cut
New digs - 2004-05-25 Bachelor hell - 2004-05-10 Grumble - 2004-05-07 Coachella pt. 2, or goddamn do my fingers hurt - 2004-05-05 Coachella part one, or, this monkey's gone to indio rawk heaven - 2004-05-05 Random Shearings Rings |
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