| 5:27 p.m. | Lookin for a fight, hoss? | 2003-03-19 |
| Reaped | An amusing story from my Sister the Behemoth: So last week she was going to the Frank Black show in Orlando. They had all arrived early so as to have good seats for the show. Which they do, at a table right next to the pit in front of the stage. So they waited & watched the opening acts, drank their beer and waited for the show to begin. Then, from out of no where appears Frat boy and the Tri-delts, so drunk off their asses & coked outta their minds you wonder how they're standing up. But standing up and recognizing good seats are two very different things. So drunken frat boy & Co. stumble toward sister's direction, offer an elegant elbow or two to the faces of the table, and proceed to stand directly between the table and the stage. Directly in front of a guy in a wheelchair & his wife. Directly in front of my sister's bulging surfer body. "Excuse me?!" she says. "Wha...?" mumbles the Frat-tard. "There were people here before you. Who do ya think you are? You need to move." She glares. Frat-tard looks at her. Glances at her arms, which are pretty damn big. Grins. "You wanna fight me or somethin', hoss?" "No asshole, I want you to get outta my space. Now move, and take the hoochies with you." Frat-tard grumbles, turns around & proceeds to ignore her. Sister is pissed. She is sick of getting treated like shit from over hormonal MTV zombies that appear like maggots on shit at every concert she attends. I remember back about 5 years ago at a Millencolin show in Florida, some assholes wouldn't leave us alone. To the point that one of them whipped out his cock and exposed it to us. I flicked my cigarette at his pitifully small penis and left. But I wish I'd done more....bodily harm. Which is why what happens next is so...fulfilling. Those long years of harrassment were over. She was taking back the night. And so, sister made her best hairball sound, horked up all the phlegm she could muster, the kind with pieces of dinner still stuck in it, balled it up in her mouth and spit. *Thwack*. A long brown loogey suddenly dripped down the back of Frat-tard's overpriced polo. He turns around. "Wha...?" Looks at his back. Looks back at sister, "Did you do that?" She smiles, shakes her head angelically. "I think you musta sat in something." Then Frat-tard decides to leave. He's had enough of liberated behemoth women with good aim. He hustles his hoochies to another corner of the club, where someone proceeds to point out the 3 inch loogie hanging off his back. He doesn't come back. Retribution. Is nice, no? This entry inspired by the trials of idiot-milk, paving the way for bibliophytic bitches everywhere. |
Sown |
| Fresh Cut
New digs - 2004-05-25 Bachelor hell - 2004-05-10 Grumble - 2004-05-07 Coachella pt. 2, or goddamn do my fingers hurt - 2004-05-05 Coachella part one, or, this monkey's gone to indio rawk heaven - 2004-05-05 Random Shearings Rings |
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